The journey onwards from Sinai

At the time part 1 was written, just a few months after the Sinai trip, I had thought that this would be a turning point or a change in trajectory or circumstance but now looking back from 20 years later, it seems for the most part to have been a milestone, a gift but not a step change of the magnitude that making an intentional commitment to follow Jesus had been. Nevertheless, several life events did happen in the few years following.

In around 2005 I was introduced to the Northumbrian Community who describe themselves as “New Monastics”. They are a distributed community with a central Mother House in Northumberland. They have a Rule of Life but one which is quite different from traditional Monastic orders. Their ethos resonated very much with where I was spiritually and I have been connected with them to this day.

As time has gone on, despite some fairly turbulent life events, the spiritual side of my journey has followed a fairly straight path. A steady increase in following the monastic rhythm of the day, made easier by retirement, a desire to pray and meditate in different ways, an awareness of God being with me at all times and, although I don’t hear audible voices, I am often conscious of God’s prompting and encouragement even at times when I am not expecting that. I have also been on several retreats in Northumberland which were like pit-stops on the journey.

More recently, I started attending a different church which, although Charismatic Evangelical, shares much of the same ethos which is now familiar to me. To my surprise, I found that they use some of the same liturgy as the Northumbrians do and the church leader uses the Northumbrian prayer guide in his personal devotions. An unexpected and encouraging link.

As I look back on the last 20 years, since the Sinai trip, I am conscious of a steady progression towards a deeper engagement in prayer, a greater desire to “let my heart be changed, renewed” to become more like I was created to be, a greater awareness of the importance to “let go and let God” and a greater awareness of being anchored in Christ such that life circumstances whatever they end up, whether or not they are uncomfortable or painful, will be safe.

So, has that path influenced the objectivity of my philosophical enquiries? Possibly, but I am still convinced that my beliefs and my faith are on solid ground and are more likely to be true than alternatives for the reasons given in previous pages. The exhortation to “embrace the Heretical Imperative”, which is something I have always done anyway, is one safeguard against confirmation bias. As is intentionally reading books and speaking with people who hold very different views. Indeed there have been a number of occasions where I have strongly disagreed with the views of the majority of people in churches I have been a part of and have said so. Times like that have widened the area of enquiry to see if there are better ways.

So the quest continues but affirming that “Christ is my sure foundation”. A fixed point from which it is safe, albeit uncomfortable, to explore.

It is said that a good anchor will keep us safe but not stop us from getting sea-sick. And that is true.