Interests
Man is free to do what he wills, but he cannot will what he wills.
Arthur Schopenhauer
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
1 Cor 13:11
One of the main events in my early life which fuelled my curiosity to find what the world was all about and who I was came in my teenage years and the changes in outlook which puberty brought.
Now at the other end of life I find that these changes are reversing. The time came in and the tide goes out. So where does that leave me as an individual? Are my desires and interests shaped and even controlled by my brain connections and chemical switches which act upon them?
Indeed, why do I think about such questions rather than just taking them as a given and getting on with life? Is this interest also merely a product of my genes and my environment? Or is there more to me than that?
Electronics
During my life I have had a number of interests, some of them were things I could and did get engrossed in. From my early years I have had an interest in electricity and electronics. I have no idea where this came from. My parents had no interest in it and none of the people, or other children, apart from one primary school friend, had any interest either.
During secondary school and on into University my interest was still primarily electronics but with some spill over into more general physics. A subject which I knew was not most people’s favourite and even “inspires” songs which show how it is generally viewed.
Early interest in philosophy
At the same time I had considerable interest in what it was possible to find out about our situation and our destiny – not least because I wanted to know what would happen after I died. Was there more or was that the end?
During an English lesson at school, I was introduced to William Butler Yeats and his poem “Sailing to Byzantium”. Poetry was not my best subject and I had never heard of Byzantium but my teacher described Yeats as looking for meaning and finding it in Byzantium. My gut feeling at the time was that what he was seeking could not be found in any geographical place. There was no certainty to be had in this world, there was no alternative but to live by faith. This too was disturbing.
Electromagnetism and computer modelling
While at University studying Physics and Mathematics, I was introduced to Electromagnetism which I only partially understood and which didn’t really stand out as particularly interesting. When I had options I always chose electronics or telecommunications. The result was that my degree title was “Physics with Electronics” rather than how it had started.
I was then fortunate enough to get a job as a scientist working in those very areas of electronics and telecommunications where I stayed for about 10 years.
At about that time, I started to get an interest in electromagnetics and particularly mathematical modelling of it. It was the time when computers were becoming widely available and it was possible to write experimental programs and to produce answers which previously were hard to get.
I started re-reading my electromagnetics text book from University and, somewhat to my surprise, I found it not only comprehensible but fascinating. I still had my interest in electronics and did a lot of construction but theoretical electromagnetics tended to supersede that. It felt that a door which was closed, or at least very stiff, had opened and I could walk through into a new phase of life.
I left my job, was fortunate enough to find a post-graduate position at a nearby University and get a PhD in modelling of microwave circuits. It was an area which I had limited knowledge, and not much confidence, but, surprisingly, one which I was able to make a lot of progress and to impress my supervisors.
Following that, I became an academic and worked as one until my retirement more than 30 years later.
But then another surprise. Because much of my research was computer based and could be done at home, I thought that I would continue as an amateur at least for a while. That didn’t happen. What did happen was that my interest in the electromagnetics research very quickly stopped. The door which had seem to open in the 1980s had now closed. That phase of life was over and something new was to take its place.
Hebrew
Another interest which sprang seemingly out of nowhere during my early 20s was in Hebrew and Jewish culture. As far as I know I have no Jewish blood and my knowledge of Judaism was almost non-existent. I had no awareness of how the modern State of Israel came about and I did not know who the Palestinians were. It first came to my notice during a meeting of the University Christian Union where one of the speakers spoke of being from Israel and being Jewish. For some reason that piqued my curiosity and I started wanting to find out more.
Over the following decades, I attempted to learn Hebrew, first on my own from a book and then through some language courses. Unfortunately I found it hard to grasp but gained enough to usefully use a lexicon to look at the Old Testament in the original language.
I wanted to go to Israel and in 1980 was able to do so with my then fiancee. It was my first aeroplane journey and the first time I had been further from home that Ireland or Luxembourg. Fortunately I didn’t find any problems flying since it was a 6 hour flight. Nevertheless we were both naive about where it was safe to go and how we would be viewed by the locals, especially in the West Bank.
However with the help of a map, a hire car and a few organised coach trips we saw the usual sites and it was a very memorable time.
Since then I have been to Israel four times, once because of work when I stayed in Jerusalem, then a year later for a holiday based in Netanya and then twice to Eilat, the first of which included a trip to Mount Sinai which was another very memorable experience.
Other out-workings of my interest was wanting to listen to Hebrew music, including Messianic worship music, and learning about Jewish history, including the Zionist movement and the establishment of the State of Israel after the Second World War. Some of what I read was very disturbing and, if I am honest, were things that I tried to turn a blind eye to or dismiss as Palestinian propaganda.
More recently that has become no longer possible. The activities of Israel in the Gaza and in Lebanon clashed so much with my, somewhat idealised picture that I can no longer feel any kinship with them. Almost like finding out that a family member had gone on a shooting rampage. This is something which I am still in the process of getting my head around.
Later interest in philosophy
Although my interest in philosophy and the meaning of life has continued in the background throughout my life, retirement brought me the opportunity to spend more time on it. As the door of interest in electromagnetics closed, the door to philosophy opened. Although the road that door has led me to is not a comfortable one, it is one which I want to continue journeying along. This web site is a part of that ongoing endeavour. Where it will lead is unknown.
Spirituality
Along with my interests in science and philosophy, and largely underpinning it, is my interest in spirituality. In contrast to what many people think, I have found no conflict between the two and, indeed, I find that they reinforce each other. As Francis Bacon said:
Our Saviour says, ‘Ye err, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God’; thus laying before us two books to study, if we will be secured from error; viz., the Scriptures, which reveal the will of God, and the creation, which expresses his power
Francis Bacon, Valerius Terminus [Bacon2011 Ed Spedding p231]
My spiritual journey is described in detail elsewhere.